The day I’ve decided that I can’t be an ICU nurse anymore is the day I’ve SURRENDERED to my anxiety. That day, panic and anxiety just took over me and I felt DEFEATED.
Feelings of INCOMPETENCE and DESPAIR were ruling me and
I LOST CONTROL over myself and my body.
Ongoing increasing fears took over my mind... Not knowing what the future holds, not knowing what else I could do... Not believing that I could be good at something else... Not knowing how to continue living my life within this new reality... feelings of worthlessness dominate...
Unable to recognize myself anymore, not seeing a purpose, not caring about my family anymore and just wanting to disappear was my daily theme…
More and more bubbly sensations of anxiety appeared… racing heart, pending doom, shortness of breath, feeling of suffocation, feeling foggy as if I’m outside my body floating, sleepless nights, nausea, morning vomiting, loss of appetite… to name a few…
So many intrusive and negative thoughts sucked my energy and debilitated me from living my life, to show up for myself and to be the mom I wanted for my kids.
Feeling possessed, lost and like there is no way out, the only thing that was coming to my mind was to end it all… my days and nights were filled with fears… and suicide contemplation begun…
UNTIL IV'E MADE ONE DECISION - ACTIVELY CREATING THE LIFE I WANT NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES!
Soul searching healing journey have begun!
Telling myself daily that I’m strong and I can do this was the first step! In the beginning it felt like constantly lying to self... but with time and practice... The mind catching up and start believing what it's being told...
RETRAIN THE BRAIN SO THE HEART AND THE MIND WILL BE ON THE SAME PAGE.
Running was my proof that my physical sensations are false - sweat, heart palpitations, fast breathing - If I can do this and not die - I'M OK.
Creating a commitment - when anxiety symptoms show up - to pursue that thing that creates the fear… facing it weakened it with time...
YOU’RE JUST ONE DECISION AWAY - ACTIVELY CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT!
Don't be afraid of the change... be afraid to be afraid of the change and stay stuck in the place you are now for the next few days, months and years to come…
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I’M HERE TO SUPPORT YOU!
Let's celebrate together, Let's cry together and let's create the healthy and joyful life that you desire - congruent to your inner self!
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